I do declare! The honeymoon phase of this experiment is over. Work is more challenging than ever and every day as I drive home from work I ask myself why I decided to do this. I feel sorry for myself and think this was really bad timing. I ask, “Why am I doing this to myself right now?” Alcohol would sure help me to relax during this period of very tight deadlines and endless frustration at my job. Yes, I see it now. Alcohol was a crutch to smooth out the tension, help me end the day and forget what I needed to face in the morning.
It is not good to be this negative. It is taking a toll on my body and spirit. It is time to turn this ship around, start focusing on the good things and what I gain from this decision—otherwise I think I will give up. Listing the positives seems like a good thing to do right now:
- I have lost a few pounds.
- I feel better physically.
- I have extra time in the morning and on weekends by getting up early, and I am way more productive because I don’t have post alcohol grog.
- I have a clean slate, a great diet and a good foundation to start training for a long race. I am feeling very motivated and excited to start training again.
- I save money by not buying wine or hard liquor for the house or when dining out.
- I feel less guilty when I eat a dessert.
- Fewer bottles to recycle. I am being good to the environment.
- I have better clarity about my unhappiness at work. No covering it up now!
- I have a huge goal to achieve in my life with this experiment–and I really like goals. I know when I get through this is I will feel really good about what I have accomplished.