Dear Hendrick

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Dear Hendrick,

Hi. I know that it’s been a while since we split. Been thinking about you and thought I’d let you know what’s on my mind. (I hope you’ll listen.) When I told you I didn’t want to see you anymore, you were shocked. Although I tried to explain my reasons, I am sure it seemed abrupt.

You said, “There’s nothing wrong with wanting each other so much.” And I told you it was unhealthy. I was feeling trapped–every night, the same thing. I blamed you for everything that was wrong in my life: my weight gain, any physical ailment, my temper and lack of drive in the evening (you know what I mean).

Now that you’re gone, is my life really that different? (Maybe it was me and not you–your last parting words) Some things have improved in my life. I have a new job and will only be working part-time at the old one. That’s different, right? As for all of the other things that I blamed you for…well, they are pretty much the same.

So lately, I’ve been thinking that maybe this thing between us could work out. Maybe after my retreat, we might see each other again? Do you think it could be different? I don’t want it to be like it was. I don’t want to feel like we are a “habit.” I just want to enjoy each other and not feel as if I have to see you every day. But, I admit it! I really miss you sometimes…like Friday night hanging out with our friends Mark and David. It is not the same without you.

If we were to rekindle something, do you think we can find a happy balance in our relationship? I am confused and want to talk. I will be away until December but after that, could we try again…maybe? I’d understand if you are feeling rejected but I’ve learned a lot in the last 5 months and I hope that we can at least be friends.

Love,

KR

PS. Please write back and tell me what you think.

Photo courtesy of Christopher Reynolds.